Crypto Funding Frenzy: $169M Poured into 16 Blockchain Projects Last Week | Key Takeaways
The $169 Million Signal
Another week, another parade of crypto startups flashing freshly minted funding rounds like NFT PFP flexes at a Miami conference. As someone who’s analyzed capital flows from Goldman’s trading floor to DeFi dashboards, let me decode what really matters in these 16 deals totaling $169M.
Infrastructure Eats the World (Again)
Seven of these rounds went to blockchain plumbing projects, proving my thesis that investors prefer picks-and-shovels plays during bear markets:
- Eigen Labs scoring a casual $70M from a16z for their restaking protocol (because apparently one nine-figure round wasn’t enough)
- TON’s EVM-compatible layer TAC raising $11.5M - Telegram’s 800M users might finally get usable DeFi
- That mysterious Units.Network grabbing $10M for “AI liquidity management” (when the whitepaper drops, ping me)
AI’s Crypto Crossover Moment
Three AI-related rounds caught my quant-driven eye:
- SparkChain AI’s $10.8M for decentralized compute - because nothing says “Web3” like monetizing your neighbor’s idle GPU
- PublicAI merging neural interfaces with blockchain (seriously) via brainwave data collectors
- PrismaX’s robotics play getting a16z’s blessing with $11M
Pro Tip: When Marc Andreessen invests in both your AI startup and your crypto project, it’s time to update your LinkedIn headline.
The Wild Cards
The outliers tell equally fascinating stories:
- Project Eleven’s $6M quantum-resistant Bitcoin solution (finally, someone preparing for the Qpocalypse)
- Former Coinbase engineers building what might be the first usable crypto savings app (Nook, $2.5M)
- That delightful moment when Worldcoin acquires a wallet company (Dawn Wallet) because biometric orbs weren’t dystopian enough
(Full disclosure: My fund has no positions in these projects. Yet.)
Why This Matters Now
With BTC hovering at $64K, this flurry of early-stage bets suggests VCs anticipate the next bull run will be driven by:
- Institutional-grade infrastructure
- AI-crypto hybrids
- Actual consumer applications (gasp!)
The average deal size ($10.6M) shows disciplined check-writing compared to 2021’s madness - perhaps the only thing more surprising than EigenLayer’s continued funding is seeing serious money flow into… checks notes… brainwave blockchain?
BitcoinBallerina
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When VCs throw money at blockchain like confetti at a Wall Street afterparty
Another week, another $169M showered on 16 crypto projects that range from brilliant to “wait, what?”
Highlights include:
- Eigen Labs casually racking up another $70M (a16z clearly playing Funding: The Sequel)
- Brainwave blockchain becoming an actual funded concept (Skynet meets Satoshi?)
- That magical moment when Worldcoin decided wallets weren‘t dystopian enough
Pro tip for founders: Just add “AI” or “quantum” to your pitch deck. Works 60% of the time, every time.
Are we building the future or just rebranding sci-fi tropes? You tell me.
पैसा बरस रहा है, पर कहाँ?
एक और हफ्ता, एक और 169 मिलियन डॉलर की क्रिप्टो पार्टी! Eigen Labs को देखकर लगता है a16z का पैसा ख़त्म होने का नाम ही नहीं लेता - 70M डॉलर? बस ऐसे ही फेंक दिए!
AI + ब्लॉकचेन = भविष्य?
SparkChain AI आपके पड़ोसी के GPU को कमाई का ज़रिया बना रही है, और PublicAI दिमाग़ की लहरों से ब्लॉकचेन चला रही है! क्या अगला कदम टोस्टर से माइनिंग करवाना होगा?
सबसे अजीब ‘वाइल्ड कार्ड’
Worldcoin ने डॉन वॉलेट ख़रीद लिया - बायोमेट्रिक ऑर्ब्स अभी कम डरावने थे क्या? 😂
क्या आपको लगता है ये निवेशक सही हैं या सिर्फ़ ‘दीवाली के पटाखे’ फोड़ रहे हैं? नीचे कमेंट में बताएं!
Волки Уолл-стрит на блокчейне
Когда Eigen Labs получает $70М на рестейкинг, а TON клянётся сделать DeFi для бабушек в Телеграме — я проверяю, не начался ли 2021 год снова.
Сюрприз недели: проект, который соединяет блокчейн с мозговыми волнами. Видимо, теперь можно майнить просто думая о Lambo!
А вы бы вложились в “AI liquidity management” до прочтения whitepaper? (Шутка. Или нет?)
Grabe ang Crypto Party!
Parang fiesta ng pera ang nangyari last week - 16 na blockchain projects ang nabigyan ng $169M!
Pinaka-WTF Moment: Yung brainwave blockchain project (oo, totoo ‘to!) na pinondohan din. Parang gusto ko na lang magpakalunod sa alak kesa intindihin kung paano gagamitin ang utak ko para sa DeFi. 😂
Paborito Kong Irony: Yung Worldcoin na may biometric orbs, ngayon bumili pa ng wallet company. Next time siguro eyeball scanner na wallet? 👀
Kayo, alin dito ang pinaka-‘tangina money’ para sa inyo? Drop your bets below! #CryptongPinoy
VC Crypto Lại Phát Cuồng
Tuần nào cũng thế, các quỹ đầu tư đổ tiền vào crypto như thể họ đang chơi Candy Crush. 169 triệu đô cho 16 dự án - trong đó có mấy ông AI xài blockchain để đo… sóng não?!
Đặc Sản Infrastructure 7 trên 16 deal là các dự án ‘ống nước’ blockchain. Eigen Labs hút 70 triệu từ a16z - chắc Marc Andreessen nghĩ restaking là trò chơi xếp hình.
AI + Crypto = ??? SparkChain kiếm 10.8 triệu để biến máy tính hàng xóm thành ‘mỏ đào’ thời 4.0. Còn PublicAI dùng blockchain lưu… sóng não? Tôi nghĩ họ đang xây dựng Matrix thật rồi!
Các bạn nghĩ deal nào kỳ quặc nhất? Để tôi đoán: Project Eleven với 6 triệu cho giải pháp Bitcoin kháng lượng tử - chuẩn bị cho ngày máy mật mã ăn hành à?
استثمارات خيالية أم حقيقة؟
هل تصدق أن 16 مشروعًا فقط حصلت على 169 مليون دولار الأسبوع الماضي؟ من بينها مشروع يستخدم موجات الدماغ في البلوكشين! (نعم، قرأت ذلك بشكل صحيح 🤯).
البنية التحتية تلتهم العالم
70 مليون دولار لـ Eigen Labs؟ يبدو أن المستثمرين يعتقدون أن إعادة التكديس هي الجديد في عالم الكريبتو! بينما ينتظر مستخدمو Telegram وعددهم 800 مليون أخيرًا تطبيقات DeFi التي تعمل.
السؤال الحقيقي: هل سيكون أي من هذه المشاريع مفيدًا فعلاً أم مجرد ضجة أخرى؟ شارك رأيك! #كريبتو_جنون
またしても暗号界隈が熱い！
今週も$169M(約250億円)が16のプロジェクトに投入されました。中でも際立っているのは：
- Eigen Labsがa16zから70億円超を調達（「再ステーキング」って何度説明すれば…）
- 脳波データをブロックチェーン化するプロジェクト（さすがシリコンバレー発想）
- 量子コンピュータ時代を見据えたビットコイン防衛策（準備周到すぎて逆に怖い）
個人的には、テレグラム8億ユーザー向けDeFi構想より、隣人のGPUを稼働させる「分散型コンピューティング」ビジネスモデルに笑いました。これぞ真のシェアリングエコノミー！
※このコメントはETH建て有料サークル「Web3参勤交代」とは無関係です
क्रिप्टो दुनिया में धमाल!
एक हफ्ते में $169M की फंडिंग? ये लोग पैसे को ब्लॉकचेन पर उड़ा रहे हैं या क्या? 😂
इन्फ्रास्ट्रक्चर का जमाना: Eigen Labs ने फिर से $70M उड़ाए - अब तो ये restacking में भी माहिर हो गए हैं!
AI और क्रिप्टो की शादी: SparkChain AI ने $10.8M जुटाए - अब आपके पड़ोसी का GPU भी पैसा कमाएगा!
सबसे मजेदार: Worldcoin ने एक वॉलेट कंपनी खरीदी - बायोमेट्रिक ऑर्ब्स अब और भी डिस्टोपियन हो गए हैं! 🤖
क्या आपको लगता है ये सब सही दिशा में है? कमेंट में बताइये!
